


O

by srogersjbarnes



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Tenet (2020)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Military, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2021-01-06
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:14:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 14,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28406103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/srogersjbarnes/pseuds/srogersjbarnes
Summary: Steve Rogers met Bucky Barnes on his first day at West Point. Since then, Steve harboured an unrequited love for the most brilliant man in the world. However, Steve knew that Bucky was still in love with a man of his past... someone Steve could never hope to replace in Bucky's heart.One day, a special mission went terribly wrong as they were both captured by an unknown enemy only to be rescued by an organization called SHIELD. As Steve fights against a terrible enemy that threatens to destroy all of humanity, he starts to uncover the secrets of Bucky's heart... as well as of the future.Or...The Tenet AU where Steve is the Protagonist and Bucky is Neil.This is a Tenet AU, so it will contain spoilers for the movie.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Kudos: 24





	1. Chapter 1

Steve was first captivated by the chiseled jaw, the confident and slightly arrogant smirk, and those electrifying blue eyes on R-day.

It was laughable in hindsight, but the first impression he got from the man was not one of instant friendship. Instead, the emotions bubbling inside him was an odd mixture of ire, frustration, and even jealousy.

Two years ago, Dr. Erskine’s one-of-a-kind treatment was able to transform him from a scrawny Brooklyn kid with a list of ailments that could fill an entire encyclopedia into the definition of one, single entry within those tomes. 6 foot 2 with wavy, blonde hair, toned muscles, and a smile that was brighter than the sun, Steve was the walking, living definition of an All-American boy. However, while the serum could heal all of Steve’s illnesses and enhance his physique, it could not begin to touch the repressed anger built up within him over the years from being imprisoned in his disease-ridden body.

Despite Steve’s best efforts to reject his worst impulse, he was still easily agitated by those who seemed to have a perfect life.

Looking around, there were many teenagers and all with families sending them off to the most prestigious military academy in the US. The tearful mothers and proud fathers only served to make Steve’s shadow look like an inadequate companion.

Why were they able to have a complete, loving family when he had an absent father he had never met and a mother who led a hard life trying to provide for her only son?

Why were they able to have friends while Steve worked three part-time jobs outside of high school trying to pay his mother’s medical bills even it ultimately did nothing to save her?

Steve knew it was irrational to direct his anger towards a random stranger standing with a couple of his friends by the gates, but he could not help the irritation that grew every moment he observed him.

The man was well-built with his muscular contour revealed by the tight T-shirt that hugged his torso perfectly. He was also conventionally handsome, with a sharp jawline, thick eyebrows, and strong facial structures. However, there was a sense of nervousness radiating from the man. He rocked on his feet with his hands in his pockets while panning his gaze around him. With his frequent glances at his watch, it was as if he was waiting for someone. A few minutes later, a few others joined the trio, and the man gave them a tight smile that was quickly succeeded by a hearty laugh. Soon, they were chatting and laughing with ease. They seemed to know each other very well, but even if they were not a close band of friends, Steve knew that the man would still have no trouble commanding the attention of any stranger.

Lost in his musing, Steve suddenly found himself staring directly into a pair of the bluest eyes he has ever seen. An involuntary shudder traveled his entire body as all his nerves fired simultaneously. Steve gulped, barely suppressing a gasp, when he noticed the man’s slacked expression as if he was shocked by what he saw as well.

But then, the man flashed him a tiny, confident smirk.

And that was all it took for Steve’s unfounded irritation for the man to come back to full force.

Steve watched as the man extracted himself from the captivated crowd and walked towards him. The man pulled his hands out of his pockets, scratched his head, and glided them down his forearms before placing them back into the pockets.

“Hi!” the man said cheerily before faltering at Steve’s hostile expression, “Uhm…”

“Do I know you?” Steve asked sharply as the other man’s eyes widened in panic. The moment his words came out, Steve already regretted them. But he was too stubborn to admit his mistake and did not apologize, even though he knew he should.

“I… no, you don’t. Of course, you don’t,” the man said quickly. Extending his hand out, he introduced himself, “James Buchanan Barnes, but you can call me Bucky.”

“Bucky?” Steve tested the name in his mouth. “What kind of name is that?”

“A memorable one, I hope?” the man shrugged nonchalantly. However, Steve knew the man forced the carefree gesture since his eyes were glued to Steve’s face, closely observing his slightest change in expression. It seemed, as though, that he really _cared_ about his opinion.

After Steve’s transformation, there was not a lack of attention or interest on himself. However, Steve knew they were only attracted to what they saw, not who was inside. But with this _Bucky_ , he caused a fluttering warmth in Steve’s heart that he felt for the first time since his mother’s death.

“I guess anything is better than James Buchanan,” Steve said. Bucky barked out a hearty laugh and Steve valiantly suppressed his urge to join in.

“So… do you want to join us?” Bucky asked with his arm still outstretched.

Steve hesitated. “I’m good…”

The man’s face fell slightly before maintaining a polite smile. At that moment, Steve felt like a terrible person if he did not already feel so a minute ago.

“I mean,” Steve amended quickly, “I’m good to join.”

The man’s lips turned into a genuine, excited grin. He nodded energetically and picked up Steve’s bag before joining the rest of the group.

After a round of quick introduction by Bucky of his fellow classmates, Steve remained silent and invisible from the conversation while Bucky charmed everyone with his charisma and humour. When it came time for them to leave, Steve slinked away, half-expecting Bucky to have already forgotten about him. However, Bucky surprised him by waving goodbye to the rest and catching up with him.

“Phew, I almost didn’t catch you leaving,” Bucky said, swinging his duffle over his shoulder.

“Oh… I didn’t want to… uh… interrupt.”

“That’s nonsense,” Bucky said as he nudged Steve with his left shoulder. Instead of a radiating warmth, Steve could feel almost a cooling sensation where their skin contacted. Steve stole a glance but found nothing out of the ordinary.

Maybe Steve’s body just ran hotter than most.

“What is it?” Bucky asked.

“Oh… no, nothing, Buck...y,” Steve said, covering up his fluster with a smile. “I still haven’t introduced myself. I am Steven Grant Rogers, by the way.”

“You are free to call me, Buck,” Bucky said as he flashed him a soft and, oddly, sad smile. “And nice to meet you too, Steve.”

And that was the best thing that has ever happened to Steve’s life.

In the next several years, they would become classmates, roommates, best friends, and finally brothers-in-arms.

Bucky, unlike the other fresh-faced eighteen-year-olds, was twenty-three when he started. That was not where the differences ended. Bucky was unlike any of the other cadets he knew. He did not share their perfect, idealistic outlook about the military, nor the naivety of life as if they had never suffered from any hardship. He also knew Steve better than even himself. Sometimes, Steve would be in need of something only for Bucky to have handed it to him wordlessly. Bucky also seemed to read Steve's moods perfectly, knowing when to comfort him or when to leave him to his thoughts with a hot cup of tea.

Everything was so perfect... so domestic... that a tiny seed of want slowly budded deep within Steve's heart. But Steve knew Bucky's maturity had to stem from previously being an enlisted soldier. Bucky's compatibility with Steve... well, that must only be because Bucky was a considerate, gentle man.

On one restless night when Steve watched the slumbering man across the room, he finally acknowledged that his feelings for the man ran deeper than a platonic friendship. After all, Bucky was the perfect man if he ever knew one. He was charming, handsome, witty, popular, and easily the best of their cohort. He was also the class president and star quarterback on the football team. So Steve never understood why Bucky chosen to befriend him on the first day, let alone give him the time of day for anything in the next four years. Bucky also stuck by Steve and helped him mature into the man he always wished he would become one day.

He would never dare to utter the following words aloud, but Bucky became his only constant in life after his mother passed away. And he knew that even when he had nothing, he had Bucky by his side.

Steve ended up graduating West Point top of his class, with Bucky coming in a close second. While he enjoyed the flood of congratulations from his TACs and superintendents, the proud smile and tight hug from his first and only friend was all he needed.

“Congratulations, Steve,” Bucky said softly with nothing but pride in his glistening eyes.

“I couldn’t have done it without you,” Steve said as he pulled Bucky into his arms tightly. “I am who I am today only because of you.”

“No, Steve,” Bucky chuckled as he patted Steve gently on the back. “This has always been you.”

And Steve's heart melted then and there. He would have dropped down on one knee and proposed marriage in front of hundred of people if he could, but he would never dare to ask for his more-than-platonic feelings to be reciprocated. He could not afford to lose Bucky’s friendship, and he would remain Bucky’s best friend if that were all he could ever have.

However, Steve came close to revealing his deepest secret once. It was the last night before they were shipped out on their very first tour in Iraq. Their classmates organized a get-together at a pub to mark the occasion, but Bucky declined the invitation, only citing that he would like to spend it with someone special before dragging Steve to the park with two six-packs.

Clouded by jealousy that Bucky had a special someone who was not him, Steve drained several cans of beer while Bucky watched silently.

Of course, Bucky was a taken man. He was also a decent, honest man who would never cheat on his loved one. Bucky never stayed behind and spent a quiet night with Steve because he wanted to. He was just such a good man that he never joined the other cadets when they would go to strip clubs or such establishments.

Bucky never felt anything romantic for Steve, despite Steve’s wish for it to be different.

Feeling the bitterness in his mouth as the beer sloshed against his palate, Steve threw his fifth can onto the ground and crushed it noisily with his foot.

Finally feeling the inhibitions in his mind ebb away, Steve asked softly, “Who is she? The _special someone_? How come I’ve never heard about her until now.”

Steve hated the accusatory tone in his voice, but he was too emotionally wrecked to care. In a drunken haze, he watched as Bucky picked at the pull tag of his can under the soft, amber glow from the nearby streetlamp.

The lights and shadow contrasted greatly on Bucky’s face, accenting the angular jaw and cheekbones and highlighting the scruff around the cleft of his chin.

The man was beautiful. And he would never be Steve’s.

Bucky sighed as he rummaged for something beneath his shirt. He pulled it out and Steve saw a silver necklace with two rings stringed on it.

“Are you married?”

“I was,” Bucky said, running his thumb on the smooth surface.

“Oh… I’m so sorry…” Steve said as sadness quickly displaced the jealousy in his mind. It was now clear why Bucky was never interested in anyone despite his popularity. Was it also the reason why Bucky always looked so sad?

“No, don’t be,” Bucky sighed as he continued to examine the bands.

“She must have been amazing,” Steve said.

“She,” Bucky said softly, “Is a he. And he is the most brilliant man I will ever know.”

“Oh… I see,” Steve’s heart broke a little more when he saw the tender smile of Bucky’s smile. For just a brief moment, his traitorous heart hoped that maybe, just maybe, he could be that person for Bucky one day. But with a single glance at the man’s face, Steve knew he would never be an adequate replacement.

“So... you see... that's why I don't talk much about my love life,” Bucky laughed deprecatingly. “I don't want to get in trouble.”

Steve nodded, feeling immensely grateful that Bucky entrusted him with this enormous secret.

“What… what happened... to him?”

“He… he is just somewhere very far away… somewhere I cannot join,” Bucky smiled faintly. He tugged the rings beneath his shirt and patted the spot. “This is all I have left of him.”

Steve proceeded to choke down another pack of beer, pretending that the tears flowing down his cheeks were from the overflowing alcohol. From then on, Steve swore that he would protect Bucky and focused all his energy on being the best friend to Bucky. And he was fortunate to be able to do that by staying right next to him throughout all of their military careers. Soldiers and officers were often reassigned to other posts and bases, but somehow, they managed to be together. Even now, they were officers in the same platoon serving as Second Lieutenant Barnes and First Lieutenant Rogers.

Steve knew to never look at the gift horse in the mouth, and the only time Steve asked the question, Bucky answered, “I might just know some top brass and put in a request to let me keep a certain dumbass alive.”

“Well, next time, can you also tell them to prep the chow better?” Steve replied jokingly. “It’s always cold or burnt… or it’s burnt but cold on the inside. It just doesn’t make sense.”

“Anything for you, Steve,” Bucky grinned.

“It’s sir for you, Buck.”

“Yes, sir!” Bucky shouted with a mock salute.

The chow improved for the next two months before reverting to normal, and that was the end of Steve’s question.

Bucky’s promise to keep him alive, however, seemed to take precedent over Steve’s similar vow for Bucky. Many times, Steve was sure he would die in the sandy wasteland of Iraq, but then Bucky would appear and save him in a Hail Mary move. They would always come out unscathed, but then Steve would start a massive fight over the incident, blaming Bucky for putting Steve’s life above his. They would then reconcile a few hours later as they promised never to go to sleep angry at each other.

It was a dance that they, and the rest of their men, knew very well. Too well for Steve’s taste.

Bucky managed to pull Steve away and shielded him just before a car exploded yards away in one particular instance. The shrapnels wounded two soldiers beside them, but miraculously, Steve and Bucky did not sustain even a single cut.

“What the heck was that for, Buck?!” Steve shouted the moment they were alone after returning to base. To their men’s credit, they fled their platoon leaders the moment they were dismissed.

“I was saving you ass -”

“Attention!”

Bucky glared at Steve loathingly before he snapped to attention.

“How did you know there was an IED?”

Bucky stood wordlessly.

“I am asking you a question, Lieutenant!”

“Gut instincts, sir!”

“That answer is not good enough. Try again!”

“That is my only answer, sir!”

“Push until I tell you to stop!” Steve barked the order. Defiantly silent, Bucky assumed the position and started doing push-ups without a hint of remorse.

Steve continued to glare at the man grunting at his feet when his eyes started to well up with tears. If Steve did not order his men to push forward on that route, they would not have encountered that vehicle-borne IED. And if they were just a few steps closer to the explosion, then Bucky would not be here doing push-ups…

Steve closed his eyes and breathed in a shuddering breath. The love of his life… the one good thing in his life… was almost destroyed because of his own negligence and incompetence…

At that thought, the fight left him as he just sunk into his bunk in defeat.

“Damn it,” Steve sniffed wetly into his hands.

Bucky stopped with his eyes trained on the ground. He asked softly, “Permission to stop, sir?”

Steve ignored the man as tears started to stream down his face. “Damn it, Buck.”

He could hear the man standing up, walking towards him slowly, before sinking to his knees in from of him.

A warm, stabilizing hand was placed on his knee as Bucky’s voice whispered, “I’m sorry, Steve.”

“You almost died, Buck,” Steve choked out between sobs. “I almost killed you.”

The hand tensed a little before it relaxed once more.

“No, you didn’t.”

Steve put down his hands, not caring about the dust, soot, dried blood, and tears streaked across his face.

“How do you know?”

Bucky cupped Steve’s face with his left hand and wiped the tears with the calloused pad of his thumb, “We promised to be together ‘til the end of the line.”

“Today could’ve been the end of the line.”

“But it’s not, and we’re still here,” Bucky said gently.

Steve nodded, not trusting himself to speak. After a while, when Steve finally calmed down enough, he wiped his eyes with his sleeves and said, “I don’t want you to die for me, Buck.”

There was a flash of something terribly sad in Bucky’s eyes at the words. It was something haunted, yet tender, but Steve could not understand any of it.

“This is not up to you or me, Steve.”

“But I don’t want you to,” Steve said as he held Bucky desperately. “You… you’re the only person I need in my life. I… I can’t lose you, Buck. I just can’t.”

“And you won’t, I promise. Not here, not in this hellhole.”

“How can you promise me? No one can. I can’t even promise to bring all of our men back home alive!”

“No, we can’t,” Bucky said. “But I can promise you that we will be alive and well until we leave this blasted place in a year.”

“You’re lying, Buck…”

“When am I ever wrong?”

“But why one year only?” Steve asked petulantly.

“I dunno, it was just a random number that came into my head,” Bucky said with a grin.

“Why not longer?”

“Well… I don’t know about you, but I was not planning to stay here longer than that.”

Steve chuckled at that as he wiped his eyes with his sleeves.

“That’s true… I guess I’ve never really thought about what happens after we leave the military.”

Steve supposed that he would either continue to progress up the ranks or find a civilian job. Then, he would find someone, settle down, and start a family with Bucky living next to his. Every night, they would go behind their houses into their shared backyards talking about anything and everything under the skies… at least that was what he dreamt about often….

“Have you thought about what you’d do after all this?” Steve asked curiously.

Bucky shook his head. “You know me. I like to live in the present. The future planning stuff is for old people.”

“Says the oldest cadet in our year,” Steve teased. “But… we will stay in touch, right? No matter what happens to us?”

Steve saw the flash of sadness in Bucky’s eyes again, but the man gave a comforting smile and said, “Of course, I can’t imagine it being any other way.”

Steve ran his hand down Bucky’s arm when he noticed a tear in the left sleeve with clotted blood around it. It looked like a shrapnel wound.

“Buck,” Steve said urgently. “Your arm.”

Bucky froze as he looked at where Steve was staring. Then, he breathed a sigh of relief as he pulled up the sleeve to reveal an uninjured arm.

“See,” Bucky raised his arm for Steve to feel. “Nothing injured.”

There was a knock on the tent, and Bucky opened it to find the team medic, Dugan, standing at attention.

“At ease. What is the matter, Doc?” he asked.

“We are just wondering whether you and Lieutenant Rogers are joining us at the mess hall, sir!” Dugan said, but Bucky noticed that the medic was trying very hard to catch a glimpse inside the room without betraying his intention.

“We will be there in just a minute,” Bucky said as he stepped back into the room. “Also, Lieutenant Rogers and I don’t need any medical attention for our talks. Please tell the rest of the men as well.”

Dugan flushed red as he nodded curtly, “Yes, sir. See you later, sir.”

The two men injured in the IED blast were sent to Walter Reed and honourably discharged. Besides that, Steve and Bucky miraculously managed to finish the year-long tour without having any more casualties.

“Two more days before we leave this hellhole,” Bucky said as he took the coffee that Steve just mixed for him.

“Don’t jinx it,” Steve grinned. Then, he sobered up and said, “To Jones and Morita.”

Bucky repeated the names as they sat in silence. Before Steve was able to take a sip, someone walked into their tent.

It was Colonel Fury.

They both immediately set down their drinks at the sight of the man and stood up in rapt attention.

“At ease, gentlemen,” Fury said as the two men relaxed a fraction. “I have a special mission for the both of you.”

* * *

“You want us to do what?!” Steve shouted with all decorum disregarded when the Colonel concluded his briefing. Meanwhile, Bucky seemed to be taking in the news much better as he merely stood in rapt attention. “Buck… I mean, Lieutenant Barnes had never gone on a solo mission before!” Then, Steve remembered who he was speaking to and added hastily, “No offense, sir.”

“He’s not alone. He has you,” Fury said. “Barnes is the best sniper in this entire base, and this mission is entirely within his capabilities. We cannot afford to wait -”

“Can’t we call in the Special Ops?” Steve interrupted. “Aren’t these types of missions what they train for?”

“We have considered every available option, Lieutenant,” Fury said. “And believe me, you two are the best option we have.”

Dread started to fill his stomach as he wondered what they were about to participate in, or how they would complete their mission without their men, or how far they would be behind enemy lines, or how to make sure Bucky would make it out alive…

“Then take more time to consider -”

“Lieutenant Rogers,” Fury said dangerously low. “I would have thought that you would understand the process better, considering what happened last week.”

“I don't know what you are talking about,” Steve crossed his arms and looked away. Of course he knew what Fury was talking about, but this involved Bucky. And no, Bucky could not be sent directly in harm's way so hastily.

“We will do it, sir,” Bucky said shakily as he placed a hand on Steve’s shoulder to silence him. Steve turned to look at Buck, mouth gaping. But he saw the man was firm with determination. He repeated his words more firmly, “We will do it.”

“Buck,” Steve hissed. “This is completely unreasonable -”

“We will do it,” Bucky said firmly as he glared at Steve, who fumed silently. Turning his attention back to Fury, Bucky asked, “Are we going dark, sir?”

“No, you two will have comms on the entire time, and we will be telling you what you need to do and when to do them,” Fury said.

“When do we leave, sir?”

“Meet me back here at 2030, and I will brief you both further regarding the mission.”

“Are we dismissed, sir?”

Fury nodded, “Dismissed.”

Steve barely managed a stilted salute before he was quickly dragged out of the tent by Bucky. Even the bone-chilling desert cold could not distract him from his thoughts. The mission brief was too... simple... so oddly simple that it tripped some obscure, subliminal warning signal in his mind.

“I don’t like this, Buck,” Steve said once they returned to the privacy of their tent. The once-steaming cups of coffee on the table have long gone cold. Rubbing his hands together nervously, he continued, “Something about this mission is... is just not right, Buck.”

“If the Iraqis get hold of Russian nuclear technology, there will be a full-out nuclear war in the Middle East, Steve. Fury is not stupid. I’m sure they would not have involved us unless they had no choice. We have to do it,” Bucky said. “We don’t have a choice.”

“But why you?” Steve asked.

“You heard Fury. I have the best shot,” Bucky explained. “Besides, this is going to a simple, straight-forward mission. We sneak fifteen miles behind enemy lines, set up the rifle, wait for a little, take our shot, then get extracted. In and out, easy as that.”

Somehow, Bucky’s words failed to calm him down like they usually do. The knot in his stomach continued to twist tighter and tighter while his mind thought of all the things that could go wrong… that could get Bucky killed…

Bucky’s hands reached out and held his. Steve looked up and saw Bucky looking back with equal sincerity. “Steve, it is going to be fine. In and out.”

“In and out,” Steve whispered back.

They had to be fine.

* * *

Steve and Bucky stood beneath the moon and stars as they listened to distant chatter of the mess hall where their men were sharing dinner. They were both visibly thrumming with nervous energy as their friend, Warrant Office Sam Wilson, strolled into view.

“Don’t worry, the both of you,” Sam said as he placed the gun case into Bucky’s arms. “This will be a cakewalk. So quick that if you blink, you’ll miss it. Supplies ready?”

Both men nodded. Sam led them across the sandy terrain towards the vehicles. The trio were silent as they trudged across the sandy terrain. The chatter and light of the base slowly faded away. In its place was the sound of boots against sand and the light breeze.

“Are these operations normal?” Steve couldn’t help but ask his friend. “This seems so out of place compared to normal protocol.”

Sam gave Steve an unimpressed glare, unbeknownst to Bucky, before placing a hard slap on Bucky's shoulder. With a quirk of lips, he said, “There’s a first for everything, right?”

“Quite so,” another voice said roughly ahead of them. They looked and saw Warrant Officer Ives standing in front of a Humvee. “Having two men for a one-man job is unnecessary. It’s a liability, even, if you ask me... sir.”

The man gave Steve a half-hearted salute. Steve was not really in the mood to pick a fight considering the nerves he was experiencing, so he let it slide.

“That’s why the Colonel did not ask you for your opinion,” Sam returned mildly.

“Well, I gave it anyway, because that is my duty,” Ives said gruffly as he looked at Steve and Bucky sharply. “But he insisted that two you go on the mission together. Moral support or whatever.”

With that, the man climbed into the driver seat of the Humvee and slammed the door shut.

“He's a real piece of work,” Steve glowered as the vehicle hummed to life. “Well, I’m just glad you’re here with us, Sam.”

“I’m a specialist in stealth and tactical operations, not in defusing bombs,” Sam said as he pulled open the door to the passenger seat. “After you two.”

They scooted into the vehicle as Sam closed the door behind him.

“Let’s get the show on the road,” Sam knocked on the roof, prompting Ives to pull the Humvee out of the lot.

Steve let the light rumble of the Humvee and the steady weight of Bucky’s body lull over him.

In and out. Simple as that.

* * *

“When will they appear?” Steve muttered with Bucky lying beside him with an eye on the scope. His rifle was aiming at an abandoned structure on the valley ground below. It was where the meeting between the Russians and the Iraqis would occur, according to Fury’s intel.

It has been two days since they have built a shelter at the mountaintop rendezvous after a tiring twelve-mile trek across the barren desert. The last time Steve had spoken was hours ago when he checked in with Ives at noon.

“Patience,” Bucky whispered back as the wind whistled around them. The skies were dimmer as night approached once more.

“That one's in your stats only, not mine.”

Buck snorted softly, but Steve could hear the mirth in his voice.

There was a series of clatters as Steve returned to his scope on full alert. He found a few rocks have tumbled down the cliff edge, causing a cloud of white particles to rise from the ground. Perhaps it was an animal or just natural weathering.

“Our men have left?” Bucky whispered after several hours when the skies have entirely darkened with stars twinkling above. This was the first time Bucky initiated a conversation in the last three days, not that they dared to engage in a robust discussion in a stealth operation.

Steve glanced at his watch and saw midnight fast approaching. Their flight’s scheduled departure was an hour ago. “Yes.”

“Good,” Bucky stated simply. “Check-in?”

Steve pressed two fingers into the comms on his ear, “Rogers, to base.”

Unlike the static shift in previous responses, there was only silence.

“Rogers, to base,” Steve repeated and was met with the same result.

Bucky asked quietly, “What is it?”

“There’s no response,” Steve said. “Maybe interference or -”

There was an audible click as Steve felt something hard pressed against the back of his head. The first thought in his mind was not of his survival but Bucky’s.

“Or what?” Bucky looked away from the scope towards him. Steve watched as the horror gripped the other man’s face.

“Run, Buck -”

That was all Steve managed to shout out before his world turned dark.


	2. Chapter 2

With a groan, Steve’s eyes slowly fluttered open as he adjusted to the dim environment. His head was pounding as he looked at the metal bars and three walls made of clay and stone. He tried to move his body when he realized his hands and feet were bound together with two heavy, metal cuffs. Steve looked down beside him and found Bucky lying on the stone floor, unconscious and cuffed in the same fashion.

Reaching a trembling hand forward, Steve did want he never dared to do to Bucky despite sleeping mere feet apart for years. He ran his fingers down Bucky’s bruised cheeks, the days-old gruff around his chin, and finally, those parched lips.

Bucky stirred, and Steve immediately retracted his hands, causing Bucky’s face to tilt the other way. Steve tried to calm down his shallow breath and beating heart as he stared at his offending hand. The immense guilt for taking advantage of his best friend crushed his soul.

He then noticed an oozing wound near Bucky’s temple, which was previously hidden from view. Steve scanned the rest of his companion’s body to find that multiple bruises were forming on his limbs and torso.

It was as if the man suffered from a severe beating.

A few moments later, Bucky started to stir. Steve immediately helped the man sit up.

After a couple of weak coughs, Bucky moaned with his eyes still closed, “Steve?”

“I’m here, Buck,” Steve said quickly, pulling the man into his arms as he breathed in the familiar scent. The warmth and weight against Steve’s chest grounded him and reminded him that he still had one mission – the most critical mission ever – to keep Bucky safe until they get home.

“Hurts…” Bucky wheezed and placed a hand on where Steve’s arm was hugging him. “Ribs broken.”

“How?” Steve asked worriedly. He shifted his arm, and Bucky sucked in another harsh breath in pain. “What happened?”

“Tried… to… put up a fight…” Bucky whispered before hacking a cough that worried Steve immensely. “Didn’t… work…”

Steve buried his head in the nook of Bucky’s neck. He shook his head, letting his nose brush against Bucky’s warm skin.

“Where are we?” Bucky asked again, sounding short of breath.

“I think we are prisoners of some militant group… But nobody's been around yet, so I don’t know…”

“How could they have known we were there?” Bucky whispered weakly. “It was supposed to be a secret mission…”

“I… I don’t know, Buck,” Steve whispered back, trying to keep the fear out of his voice. “I don’t know.”

***

Bucky laid in Steve’s embrace for the entire day as he drifted in and out of consciousness. The edges of the head wound looked red and warm. The man’s forehead felt feverish, and his body shivered as if they were in the middle of winter.

Steve’s worst nightmare had happened. Bucky had an infection.

Steve called for help, but his voice reverberated hollowly within the empty halls. No one came by their cell. There was no voice nor sound of footsteps.

Steve could only hold Bucky tighter as he watched the light through the tiny, barred window near the ceiling slowly fade away.

“’m… cold,” Bucky muttered as his body shivered more violently.

“I know, Bucky,” Steve said shakily as angry, scared tears welled in his eyes and clogged his nostrils. “We will get home soon.”

“… trust you,” Bucky said before he coughed weakly.

A drop of tear spilled down Steve’s face. Then, another. And another. He didn’t even know whether Bucky would survive the night… and it was all his fault.

A hand reached up to Steve’s face, which Steve caught and held.

“Why are you crying?”

“No, I’m not,” Steve sniffed as he wiped his eyes quickly with his arm.

“Never a good liar,” Bucky cracked his eyes open and gave Steve a cheeky grin before another wave of cough overcame him. When it finally subsided, Bucky looked up at Steve again and whispered tenderly, “I’ve missed you.”

“What do you mean, Buck?” Steve asked worriedly as he felt the man's forehand and the scalding heat.

Was Bucky getting delirious? They have seen each other every day for as long as Steve could remember... except for that one time last week when Steve, Sam and Ives, under Colonel Fury's order, were flown to Kyiv to join a top-secret Special Operations raid and retrieve a special package. But Bucky would not have known about that. 

“It’s been so long…” Bucky sighed with a smile on his face before he fell horrifyingly still.

“Don’t leave me, Buck!” Steve shouted as he shook the man violently. “Don’t you dare leave me alone! Please don’t leave me… I beg you, Buck… I beg you…”

There was a weak cough as Bucky wheezed again. 

“Buck,” Steve whispered as the man sucked in a laboured breath. “Buck, stay with me. Okay? Don’t leave me.”

“I don’t want to leave either,” Bucky breathed out. “But I have to, right? We both knew this day would come.”

“This is not the end of the line. You don’t get to decide where the end of the line is!”

Bucky shook his head almost imperceptibly, “It’s not a line, but a circle. That’s what you told me, remember?”

“I don’t care if it’s a line, a circle, or a God-damn triangle!” Steve shouted furiously. “There’s so much we still need to do together. We need to leave this hell hole; we need to visit the Grand Canyon; we need to find someone and get married, have children, and then… and…”

Bucky chuckled lightly. “We’ve done all that, silly. Don’t you remember?” He reached for his neck in search of something. “Where are they?”

Steve realized that the dog tag and rings around Bucky’s neck were absent just as Bucky’s breathing became rough.

“Where are my rings?” Bucky asked as beads of sweat started to form on his forehead as he tried to raise his arms to no avail. “Where are they?”

“It’s okay,” Steve said soothingly as his mind went into panic mode. “I will find them for you.”

“Okay,” Bucky nodded as he calmed down. “Okay Stevie, I’m sorry for losing them…”

Steve’s hands stilled.

“What did you say, Buck?”

However, Bucky seemed to have drifted out of consciousness again, leaving Steve alone with his turbulent thoughts in the dark and cold.

* * *

The next day came and went as Steve and Bucky were left alone with only water in a broken clay bowl and a loaf of bread. Steve did not notice those items there before, so whoever imprisoned them must have placed them while Steve was asleep.

He shouted and screamed for help in English and broken Arabic, hoping they could be merciful and give Bucky the medical attention he needed, but no one responded as usual.

Bucky’s condition did not take a turn for the better, but it did not take a turn for the worse either. Steve counted it as a blessing, nonetheless.

Bucky also did not stay awake long enough to be able to converse with Steve anymore, and Steve knew this was Bucky’s body shutting down to provide energy for the most essential functions and to try and fight off the infection.

To fill the time, Steve started to tell Bucky and himself stories. Some were recounts of the funny and idiotic things they did when they were still in cadets…

“Do you remember that time during Easter in second-year when we went to Comey Island? I insisted we ride the Cyclone and I ended up throwing up my entire lunch,” Steve chuckled as Bucky laid unresponsive. “I remember you teased me about it for the longest time. And you still do, just not as frequently. But I think that is only because I got promoted to First Lieutenant.”

Some were memories of tears and hardship…

“I never really got over Rhodey’s injury,” Steve sighed. “I think you know that, seeing that you woke me up from my nightmares countless times. I can’t help but wonder if I could have done something differently, if I could have just went back in time to change something, if I could… If I could just give him his legs back…

“If only that was something I could do…”

And then, there were some that were Steve’s most hidden secrets. Secrets that he would never have told Bucky face-to-face…

“You know… I… I…” Steve looked down at Bucky’s face as he caressed Bucky’s cheek with his thumb in circles. “… I really like you, Buck… more than I have liked anyone before… besides my mom… not that I have known many people that well…”

Steve stopped himself from continuing the aimless rant. He breathed in and started again, “I have a confession to make, Buck, and I imagine you would have hit me on the head by now and said ‘Stop wasting my time and come out with it, punk.’ I love you, as in a I-want-to-marry-you kind of way, and I can’t imagine a life without you ever since you walked up to me on R-day.

“You always told me that I am the best man you have ever met… but… but I’m not. I’m a coward. I love you but I don’t have the guts to tell you. And only when you are dying and unconsciousness do I dare tell you,” Steve sniffed. “You don’t deserve me. I cannot even be close to what he was to you. You deserve so much better than me.”

Steve sobbed as the day fell and the night rose once again.

* * *

Steve woke up to a distant disturbance that sounded like brief shouts and gunshots, However, it sounded very distant and he could not even be sure if was his imagination or not.

The cell was almost pitch black with only a sliver of silvery moonlight giving enough light so Steve could see the fuzzy edges of Bucky’s slumbering figure.

Steve placed a hand over Bucky’s chest and felt the rhythmic beating beneath his fingers. That was all Steve could hope for now as he closed his eyes again, trying to get some rest.

Minutes later, Steve was awoken yet again. This time, he could hear several pairs of footsteps echoing down the hallway far away and fast approaching. Opening his eyes, however, did not see anything in darkness.

Not daring to let Bucky go, Steve listened as the footsteps stopped in front of their cell as tiny drilling noises started to fill the space. There was a small ping as a small rectangle of metal bars came loose and was placed carefully to the side. A person quickly entered and knelt in front of them as another started to drilled into his handcuffs.

“What is your name and rank?”

“First Lieutenant Steven Grant Rogers,” Steve breathed out. “And this is Second Lieutenant James Buchanan Barnes. Please take care of him first, he has an infected head injury.”

“Don’t worry, you are good hands,” the man said before turning to his comms. “Targets acquired. Heading back to rally point for extraction.”

Steve did not realize how weak his body was until he was heaved up onto his feet.

“Can you walk?”

“Yes,” Steve said as he leaned heavily onto the man holding him while they escaped the jail. After what seemed like a long time with many twists and turns, Steve finally reached the open air and night sky.

Two helicopters descended just moments later, and Steve finally caught a glimpse of his rescuers as he was quickly carried on board. In the rush, he saw Bucky being carried to the other helicopter as distant gun shots started to fire at them.

“Go, go, go!” a man shouted as they slid the doors shut and dimmed the few lights that were on. With the helicopter rising, Steve could finally start to breath freely just as fatigue set in. Then someone stuffed him into a seat, buckled his seatbelt, and placed a headset over his ears as if he was their favourite doll. Over the comms, he could hear a familiar voice crackle to life.

“Steve, how are you?”

“Sam,” Steve yelled back tiredly with one eye cracked open. “Is that you?”

“Who else did you think was coming back for your sorry asses?” Sam’s voice laughed.

“I was thinking Ives?”

“You thought right,” Ives’ voice shouted as well.

“I’ve never thought I would miss your voice so much,” Steve replied as a pair of hands placed an air mask over his face, forcing him to stop talking.

“Hey, what are you do- no! -" Sam's voice cut off into static strangely and before Steve could react to his suspicion, his eyes drooped involuntarily and he passed out.

* * *

Steve woke up slowly and found himself in the centre of a small, sterile room. There were three monotonous grey concrete walls with a darkened glass wall in front of him. He attempted to move but immediately found that his hands and ankles were strapped to an unmovable, metal chair.

The glass wall in front of him suddenly turned clear as Steve saw an identical-looking room on the other side. There were two men bound similarly in their chairs with their heads hanging down, blindfolded.

Just as Steve wondered what had happened, the door in the other room opened as a man walked in. He was bald, tall, and burly with a dragon tattooed over the left side of his face. The man leered at Steve as he approached the prisoner. He pulled his head back by his hair and pointed the gum at the man’s temple.

It was Brad.

He was one of the men from the CIA that Steve worked with on the special operation in Kyiv.

“Stop!” Steve gasped as his mind turned into mush, failing to grasp at what he saw seeing. “What are you doing?”

“What does it seem like I’m doing?” he said coolly as he cocked the gun. There was a faint but noticeable Russian accent in his speech, but Steve could not focus on that at the moment.

“Stop!” Steve shouted as he felt his heart shrivel up. “What do you want?!”

“Hmm, that’s a good question,” he said. “What do you think I want?”

“I… I don’t know!” Steve shouted. Everything was still so surreal. Steve and Bucky were imprisoned… now, a CIA agent was held at gun point before him…

“Oh well, too bad then,” the man pulled the trigger. A loud bang echoed throughout the rooms as Brad fell limp, unmoving.

“NO!” Steve screamed in shock and horror as his entire body strained to stand up uselessly.

The man walked over to the other man and pulled his head up.

Steve felt his entire body turn numb. He whipped his head towards the man and begged, “Please don’t kill him. I will do anything. Just… just please don’t kill him. _Please_.”

The man’s face twisted into a gleeful, smug smile as he lifted the gun off Bucky’s temple and walked towards the glass partition. “Ah… that’s what I like to hear.”

“What… what do you want from me?” Steve gasped.

The man placed a bloodied hand on the glass and stared straight into Steve’s eyes. At the same time, Steve felt a gun pressed against his own head as well.

“I want information. Where is the algorithm that you have retrieved in Kyiv?”

“What algorithm?” Steve asked in panic.

“The algorithm that can invert time and destroy the world!” In a scream of rage, the man slammed his hand against the glass pane, causing it to vibrate. He stormed back to Bucky’s side and pointed the gun at Bucky’s temple once more. “I will ask you one final time, where is the algorithm?”

Through the glass stained with two red handprints, Steve could see Bucky slowly awakening to the jerk of his head.

Steve searched his mind and rewound back to the day he was in Kyiv. They were waiting outside the Opera House when suddenly, they received intel that a group of gunmen infiltrated the place. Their teams were called into action immediately. Pretending to be part of the Ukrainian Special Forces, they entered the building and found their contact held hostage in the box by hostiles. Steve managed to rescue the man and retrieve the case as they headed to a rally point. The object in the case, which was a strange-looking metallic object, was placed into another identical case. Then, he splintered off carrying the object while others, such as Brad, acted as decoys…

There was a strange incident when he was tackled by a masked man. As he was nearly strangled to death, he saw a second person standing behind his attacker with his gun pointing straight at his head. Steve expected a bullet to hit the attacker’s back, but instead, the attacker seemed to be hit on the chest as blood splattered over Steve’s body.

Was the unknown object the Algorithm?

Something must have shifted in Steve’s expression as the man’s grin widened, “Recall something, hmm?”

Steve’s eyes darted from the man, to the gun, to Bucky, to Sam’s body, and back to the man.

Forgive me, Bucky.

“I don’t know what you are talking about,” Steve said with as much bravado as he could muster.

“Oh well, too bad then,” the man pulled the trigger.

Steve screamed louder than the gun shot.

“BUCKY!”

It felt like his heart was torn out and stabbed by a million needles mercilessly, or a part of his soul was ripped out of his chest and shredded into pieces. He felt like an empty vessel as the last of his scream escaped him.

Tears filled his eyes but he made no effort to remove them…

He just…

But through his tear-veiled vision, he saw the weak rise and fall of Bucky’s chest. In fact, Bucky was still alive and intact.

“Interesting…” the man said calculatingly, as if he just observed something new and exciting. “Why don’t I sweeten the pot a little, Lieutenant Rogers? If you give me the information I need – your… _Bucky_ can walk out of here free, no repercussions. Fail to answer now, your _Bucky_ dies... but I will make sure I get the answer out of you… no matter what it takes...”

The man had recognized Steve’s weakness and seized it. With it, now, came the Devil’s bargain.

“H…how do I trust you will keep up your end of the bargain?” Steve panted defeatedly, forfeiting the fake bravado.

“You don’t,” the man said. Patting the barrel of the gun on Bucky’s cheek, he said, “You will just have to take the risk. It is your only choice.”

Steve looked at Bucky’s frail body and a fresh wave of tears roared through his body.

“I… I… I am willing to talk,” Steve said.

“Now, that wasn’t so hard, was it?” the man gloated gleefully. Then, he looked at the security camera and said, “Lower the glass.”

The glass wall slid down and the man walked over to Steve.

“Untie him,” he said.

Steve felt his ankles and wrists loosen. At the exact moment, he sprung into action and tackled the man. Wrestling the gun away from him, he aimed at the two men behind him and took his shots. They both collapsed at once.

Steve could hear the rapid footsteps outside both doors and knew there was no chance of escape. He ran towards Bucky, who was still bound to the chair, and pointed the gun at his friend’s chest.

“I love you, Bucky,” Steve said with tears running down his cheek. “I hope we will meet again in our next lifetime.”

Steve pressed a tender, wet kiss onto Bucky’s lips as he pulled the trigger. Then, he pointed the gun at his own temple and fired a second time.

* * *

“Always such a hot head,” Steve heard fuzzily as he drifted into consciousness.

“I don’t know how Barnes puts up with him,” another voice said.

Steve’s eyes fluttered open as he found himself lying in a hospital bed. There was a gentle tilting that made Steve believe he was on a boat at sea instead of on solid ground. He looked up at the painted metal ceiling, then his bandaged right shoulder, before noticing two familiar-looking men by the foot of his bed.

“Sam…?” Steve asked groggily. “Is that you? Ives…?”

“Steve,” Sam grinned as he walked closer. “Finally awake?”

“What… what happened?” Steve said as he tried to shift up into a sitting position.

“You’ve been in a coma for almost a week, man,” Sam supplied.

“I… but -” Then, suddenly, everything came roaring back into Steve’s mind. The Russian man, killing Brad, the fight, Bucky... The thought of Bucky caused Steve to leap into action, but Ives tackled himself onto the bed roughly. With his face pressed into the linen sheet, Steve’s entire body shook as he remembered the horrific thing he did to Bucky. “I shot Bucky, Sam! I killed Bucky…”

“Steve, listen -”

“Bucky is dead,” Steve screamed in despair. “I killed him…”

“Bucky is not dead!” Sam shouted into his ear loudly.

“How?” Steve stopped struggling against Ives’ hold. He twisted his neck to look at Sam, “I shot him point blank, Sam. I shot to kill. There’s no way he could have survived.”

“Well,” Sam sighed. “He did, and he is recovering well.”

“That’s not possible,” Steve gasped.

“Would you like to keep arguing with us or would you like to visit him?” Ives’ voice rumbled.

Steve shut up immediately. He shoved Ives’ hands away as he tried to make himself as presentable as he could.

Sam and Ives escorted Steve through the corridors and the deck when Steve finally noticed they were on a cargo ship. They stopped in front of another heavy door when Sam pulled it open.

The first thing Steve saw was Bucky in a buttoned shirt sitting in a comfortable-looking couch flipping through a book. Except for the bandage wrapped around his head and some purplish bruises around his eye sockets, he looked completely healthy.

He was the most beautiful thing Steve had ever seen.

For a moment, Steve wondered if this could be his reality one day. Would Steve ever have the chance to come home and find Bucky sitting there, peacefully waiting, for his return?

The illusion did not hold as Bucky noticed his presence. The man turned to look, and his eyes widened in surprise.

“Steve,” Bucky breathed out as the book fell from his lap onto the ground.

“Buck,” Steve stumbled forward, almost tripping over the sill pan threshold, as he pulled the man into a tight hug. There was a flash of pain in his right shoulder as his grip loosened, but all Steve could feel was the warmth of Bucky’s body against his.

“Watch your wound,” Bucky chuckled.

“I’m never letting you out of my sight,” Steve mumbled into Bucky’s shirt.

“You are such a stupid punk,” Bucky said as his laughter sent a gentle, soothing rumble traveled through Steve’s body.

“You jerk,” Steve returned. Pulling back, he looked at Bucky’s face once more. “Is this real? Are we really alive?”

“It is real. And we are alive,” Bucky said.

“But… but how? I… I shot you right here,” Steve patted Bucky’s chest. “Can I…?”

Bucky nodded as Steve unbuttoned the shirt. Underneath, Steve could feel Bucky’s muscular chest and flawless skin. There wasn’t even a single scar of bullet wound.

“There was no way a bullet wound would heal so quickly,” Steve gasped incredulously.

“They have top-of-the-line medical stuff here, and you were unconscious for a whole week already,” Bucky explained, and Steve knew not to look at the gift horse in the mouth. “The doctors… they said… that I had Situs Inversus… so some of my organs were inverted in position, including my heart…”

“So, my shot missed?” Steve said in disbelief. Then, he started to giggle in relief and happiness. “My shot missed!”

“And you…” Bucky pointed a finger into Steve’s chest accusingly. “You were really lucky that Sam and the rest got here when they did. They were able to shoot your arm and stop you from off-ing yourself.”

“I… I just thought… there were reinforcements coming…” Steve said quietly, the horrors of his actions starting to creep back into his mind. All the near misses and what-ifs occupied all his thoughts. “And… I just… I just knew that I could not let them get any information out of me…”

“You did your duty, Steve. You made the right choice.”

“I… I almost didn’t,” Steve confessed. “The man said he would let you go… and I… and I… wanted to say yes so badly…”

“But you didn’t,” Bucky said.

“But I sent you to your death knowingly, Buck,” Steve said. “I never imagined a scenario where I would ever need to do that…”

Bucky stilled at the words as he closed his eyes and breathed in deeply.

“You know… I would die for you, Steve.”

“But I don’t want you to.”

It was that age-old argument once again.

“It’s not up to you or me to decide,” Bucky said sadly. “We were in an impossible situation and you were just sparing me from a potentially long and torturous death.”

“I know what I was trying to do, Buck,” Steve said roughly. “But that doesn’t make me feel any better.”

“No, it doesn’t. But we will have to just get over it, don’t we?”

“This isn’t fair.”

“Well, life never is.”

Looking at Bucky’s chest, Steve suddenly realized that Bucky’s rings were still missing from around his neck.

“They didn’t find your rings?” Bucky shook his head. “I’m so sorry, Buck.”

They fell silent for a long while. Steve glanced at his companion discreetly, “Can… can I ask you a question, Buck?”

“What is it?”

“When we were back in the cell… you were reaching for the rings and called me Stevie -” Bucky’s shoulders tensed as if the words triggered him.

Swallowing heavily, Bucky asked shakily, “Did I… did I say anything else?”

“Nothing that I could understand.”

Bucky nodded and said slowly, “I think I was just delirious… you know, an infection and fever-addled mind tends to do that?”

Steve nodded before he pulled Bucky back into a hug.

“Is there…” Steve asked hesitantly and hopefully, “… anything else that you remember?”

“What do you mean?”

Steve wanted Bucky to say he heard Steve’s love confession or felt his desperate kiss, but he heard none of those answers.

“No… nothing… it was just a random question.”

“Okay,” Bucky muttered as he melted bonelessly into Steve’s hug. Steve cast all his worries and doubts aside for the moment. Seeing Bucky healthy and safe in his arms were all that mattered right now.

* * *

Steve spent the next two days with Bucky blissfully as he recovered from his injury. However, Steve noticed that none of the people on board looked like they belonged to the Army, or any other known branch of the military. Every time he brought this up with Sam, he evaded the questions.

His questions were soon answered when Ives knocked on his door on the third day. Ives took him up to the deck. Both men leaned over the rails as they looked out into the stormy ocean.

“What are we doing here?!” Steve asked loudly, once a pair of patrols turned the corner and out of earshot. The taste of salt and brine from the fine, ocean spray filled his mouth while the strong gusts of wind blew harshly against his skin. “They don’t look like normal military uniform.”

“They are not!” Ives shouted over the wind.

“What do you mean?” Steve asked.

“There’s something I need to show you,” Ives beckoned him to follow. They returned to the inside of the ship and started to descend. The man handed Steve a manila envelope. Inside, there was a stack of documents. Steve recognized it was his personal file in the military.

Most importantly, he found that he was declared killed in action.

“To the public,” Ives added, “You and Barnes have been captured during a special operation. Wilson and I mounted a rescue mission. However, once we entered the structure where you were held, it exploded, and we were all declared dead.”

“Why?”

“We needed to have an out… Something to wipe our tracks… after you... and then we... were abducted…”

This type of manoeuvre would have required someone higher up.

“Is Colonel Fury involved?”

Ives nodded, “He’s the one spearheading this operation.”

“So, the abduction… was that part of the plan?”

“No,” Ives said simply. “The Colonel intended to keep you and Barnes on the ground until the rest of your men departed and then retrieve you. However, the enemy got to you before they did. We mounted a rescue operation, but we were apparently infiltrated by Russian syndicates and they abducted Wilson and I as well. It took the Colonel three days before they successfully located and rescued us in Armenia.”

“Armenia?”

“Indeed,” Ives stopped in front of an ordinary-looking wall. “But the episode inadvertently served as a good test for your loyalty. This operation is of critical importance and we cannot afford the information to be leaked to the enemy.”

Steve supposed it did. If he could sacrifice Bucky to keep his knowledge safe…

“If it makes you feel any better, Wilson and I were given a similar test after they rescued us.” Ives paused for a moment before adding, “Only without Barnes in the mix.”

There was a knowing glint in Ives’ expression that Steve did not like, as if he knew about Bucky’s special place in his heart. However, since Ives did not mention anything of the like, Steve would ignore it as well.

“So, what are we fighting against?”

“Already using ‘we’, huh?” Ives said. “We are trying to prevent World War III.”

“You mean a nuclear holocaust?”

“No,” Ives’ face turned grim. “Something more terrible. Something that can destroy the world as if it had never existed. Do you still want to join this mission? If not, we can send you back to Iraq and let the Jawas find you. Everything will go back to normal -”

“That’s not necessary,” Steve said, thinking back to the strange incident in Kyiv. “Yes, I would like to join.”

Ives nodded, then placed his hand onto the wall. Suddenly, there was a blue light emitting from the wall and traveled from the tip of his fingers down his entire palm as if it was scanning it. The light disappeared just as a portion of the wall slid up.

Steve walked into find a long staircase downwards. At the end of it, Ives scanned his face on a monitor before they entered a room that looked like a weapons testing facility.

“So, have you heard of SHIELD before?”

Steve shook his head. “No.”

“This…” Ives said as he swept his arm around the room. “… is SHIELD, a specialized top-secret organization battling the biggest threat against humanity. Wilson and I have been brought into the program last week, and now, it’s your turn.”

Several feet away, Steve could see Bucky in a deep conversation with Sam and a scientist in a lab coat.

“Dr. Banner,” Ives announced. “This is Lieutenant Rogers and he is our newest recruitment.”

“Please call me Bruce,” the scientist said.

“Call me Steve,” Steve said as he shook his hand.

“You have a demonstration for us?” Ives asked.

“Follow me,” Bruce said as they walked towards another room.

“Why are you here, Buck?” Steve gripped the man’s shoulder and hissed into his ear.

“Sam just gave me the same spiel that Ives gave you,” Bucky hissed back.

“This is dangerous, Buck.”

“I can handle myself just fine, Steve.”

“But -”

Dr. Banner cleared his throat and Steve tore his glare from Bucky to the table in front of them. There were two bullets, identical in appearance, resting.

“So, what are we looking at?” Steve asked, puzzled.

“Do you recall your mission in Kyiv?” Bruce asked. Steve was alarmed for a moment, but then realized they would have knowledge of the mission since Fury was also involved with that operation. Bucky, to his credit, did not look fazed at the new information.

He was always the more cool-headed between the two.

Steve nodded.

“Recall anything unusual?” Bruce asked as he took a pair of gloves, wore one, and threw the other at Steve.

“I was being choked by a man,” Steve said as he pulled up the glove. “And a second man walked up behind the first man with a gun. I thought he was an ally about to shoot my attacker in the back, but then my attacker dropped dead with a bullet in his chest without an entry or exit wound on the back.”

“Well, watch this,” Bruce said as he waved his hand above one of the bullets. Steve watched incomprehensibly as the bullet seemingly levitated up into Bruce’s hand. Blinking his eyes, Steve wondered whether he saw it incorrectly as Bruce set the bullet on the table once again.

Bruce placed his hand flat on the table near the bullet before pulling it backwards, as if he was miming a pushing movement in reverse. Strangely, the bullet seemed to roll towards Bruce’s hand as if an invisible string was driving the motion.

His jaw hanging uselessly, Steve gobbed like a fish for a moment before he could formulate a comprehensible sentence.

“How… how is this possible? Is it static force? Magnetic field? Or gravitational force?”

“None of the above,” Bruce said as he picked up the bullet by miming a dropping motion in reverse. He brought them to a single-lane shooting range and asked Steve to assemble the gun with an empty magazine. Once Steve finished, Bruce continued, “Now, shoot at the target.”

“With no bullet?” Steve asked incredulously.

Bruce nodded as he put on his pair of earmuffs.

Confused but curious, Steve pointed at the target and pulled the trigger. Something seemed to zoom towards him as he felt the gun lurch slightly forward instead of kicking back. The weapon felt fractionally heavier now as well.

“Check the magazine now,” Bruce said. Steve did as told, and found a single bullet.

“How… how?” Steve felt as though he said the same word at least a dozen times in the span of minutes.

“You didn’t fire the bullet,” Bruce explained, unfazed. “You _unfired_ it. The bullet sitting in your gun right now…it traveled back in time.”

“But… but… how?” Steve asked again.

“An inversion of time…” Bucky said quietly for the first time. Steve whipped around to see Bucky nodded, seemingly absorbing the information well.

“But… that’s impossible,” Steve gasped as he looked at everyone around him. They were all looking at Steve grimly, but none of them were exhibiting any expression of shock. Was he the only one who was shocked or disturbed by this revelation?

“Apparently, now it is,” Bruce said. “No one knows how this is created, but our main theory is that the Russians, or one in particular, has obtained the means - or the Alogrithm - to reverse entropy.”

“Entropy?” Steve echoed mindlessly. It sounded like something he learnt in high school and had never heard of ever since.

“Yes. Entropy is the measurement of energy that describes disorder,” Bruce explained. “The tendency of all things in the universe moves towards disorder. In order to reverse this disorder, energy must be expended. This is just like a teenager’s room tends to become messier over time, and energy must be used to tidy it up. A fired bullet is a more disordered state than an unfired bullet…”

“So… what you are saying… is that since the entropy of this bullet is inverted, the bullet was able to be reversed from its fired state, making it seem like it was traveling backwards in time?” Steve asked hesitantly.

“That is correct.”

Steve gulped as he asked the next question, “Then what happens if everything was inverted?”

“Then, the fundamental law of the universe will be destroyed. With that, everything will cease to exist.”


	3. Chapter 3

“So how do we find him?” Bucky said with uncharacteristic harshness as he jabbed at the blurred picture of their target. Their target was Alexander Pierce, ex-MI6 Russian double agent and man trying to destroy the world.

It had been a few hours since the shocking demonstration and Steve’s absent mind was still reeling from its impact.

“He has managed to exterminate almost everyone involved with tracking the Algorithm, including the team involved with the Kyiv operation,” Ives said as Steve felt a sudden flash of shame and guilt about how he had forgotten how Brad died in front of his eyes. At the memory, his heart started to race before Bucky grabbed Steve’s hand under the table. Their eyes met and Steve squeezed back at Bucky’s hand tightly, grounding himself in the present. “Everyone except the four of us here, and -”

Pointing at a second blurred photograph of a man with, presumably, his wife. The file read, “Brock Rumlow, arms trafficker.”

“He’s our only link to Pierce now, it seems,” Ives concluded.

“But how do we get to Rumlow? He doesn’t look like someone you just walk up and have a chat with,” Steve asked.

“You don’t walk,” Ives said matter-of-factly. “You bungee jump.”

* * *

Once the vessel arrived at a port in the Netherlands, they were quickly transported to a nearby airport and boarded a plane with a dozen of other soldiers, all seemingly under Ives and Sam’s command.

“You’re taking all of this rather well,” Steve said once they were in the air and on their way to Berlin where Rumlow lived. He wasn’t sure if his tone was mild or accusatory. Actually, he didn’t know whether he wanted his tone to be accusatory or not because he wasn’t sure what he was feeling right now. The past few days had been a whirlwind of a ride and that was probably the understatement of the century.

“I’m not!” Bucky hissed defensively. “We… we all just deal with stress differently and… and I just like to internalize everything! You should know that, Steve.”

Guilt flooded Steve’s mind instantly as he berated himself for even suggesting that Bucky was acting suspiciously.

“I’m sorry, Buck…” Steve said quickly, “I… I’ve just been on edge… everything is… overwhelming here…”

Bucky placed his hand on Steve’s and laced them together before squeezing it. “Don’t worry. I’m right beside you, Steve.”

Steve looked at their intertwined hands and marvelled at how wondrous and natural this felt. For all these years, Steve had wondered about how Bucky’s hand would fit in his… how soft or calloused Bucky’s palm would be… but he never imagined that it would happen like this…

Steve’s heart threatened to leap outside of his ribs as Steve risked moving his thumb across the back of Bucky’s hand. To his relief and happiness, Bucky’s hand did not even twitch. Steve steeled his mind as he glanced towards Bucky only to see the man looking out the window, smiling softly and looking serene.

Steve wished this moment would last forever, but he was suddenly alerted by Sam walking down the aisle towards him.

“Hey -” Sam said as Steve instinctively tried to pull his hand back, but Bucky’s hand held it in place. Sam’s eyes darted towards their hands before travelling back to Steve’s face. “- we will land in an hour. If you want some shut eye, this is your last chance.”

“Need any help?” Bucky asked.

Sam’s eyes travelled between the two men as his eyes turned sad for a split moment before shaking his head. “We’ve got it covered.”

“Thank you, Sam.” Steve watched Sam walk away and start conversing with another office. There was a nagging suspicion in his mid, like an itch he couldn’t reach, but Steve could not pinpoint the issue.

“What is it, Steve?” Bucky asked.

“I… nothing,” Steve flashed Bucky a small smile. “We have a busy day ahead, why don’t you get some rest, like Sam suggested?”

“Okay,” Bucky nodded before he snugged closely and rested his head on Steve’s shoulder. Steve’s entire body frozen at the novel sensation. He really liked how Bucky’s entire body pressed against his side… how Bucky’s hair tickled Steve’s neck and face… how the scent of Bucky’s shampoo mixed with a little sweat entered his nostrils…

“Buck…” Steve said shakily.

“Hmmm?” Bucky sounded sleepily as he adjusted his posture slightly. That sound elicited such an intense shiver in Steve that he thought Bucky would lift his head and lie elsewhere. Every tiniest movement Bucky made was a sensory overload and Steve didn’t know how to react to Bucky’s newfound affinity for close contact.

He wanted to ask Bucky about it… whether he knew what he was doing to Steve’s pining soul… whether he would mind letting Steve be his personal pillow forever…

But he swallowed it all and managed to rasp out, “No… nothing… I will wake you up when we arrive.”

Bucky made a noise that sounded like a content grunt before drifting to sleep.

After several minutes waiting for Bucky’s breathing to even out, Steve carefully lifted his hand and brushed the hair on Bucky’s forehead, which were now much longer than the permitted length back in the Army, to the side. Steve pressed his lips on the skin before his brain could argue against it. The sound of klaxon finally registered in his mind as panned his gaze beyond their quiet nook nervously. Then, he noticed Ives’ gaze through a nearby glass pane before the man turned his back on them.

An odd sense of unease settled in Steve’s stomach as he failed to rest his mind throughout the remainder of the journey.

* * *

“After you bungee jump into their apartment, you will only have three minutes before the local authorities and third-party security swarm the building,” Ives said as he drew on the map with several arrows converging on one block. “So, make sure every second counts and get the hell out of there. Once you reach the ground, travel west through the farmer’s market and we will pick you up at the rally point here.”

“Are you sure we cannot disable the silent alarm?” Steve asked as he checked his gear one final time before strapping them onto the holsters.

“Not worth the try,” Sam stated simply. “Remember, getting in is not the problem. Leaving is.”

“Duly noted,” Steve said as he tugged on Bucky’s vest straps to tighten them. “Ready, Buck?”

“No time better than now,” Bucky grinned as they lugged their equipment over their shoulders and pushed open the van doors into the crowded streets of Berlin’s nightlife.

Keeping their presence low, they entered the neighbouring building and started setting up on the roof. All the while, they kept an eye on the patrolling guards on the opposite building.

“Never thought we’d be bungee jumping up instead down,” Steve grunted as he moved the heavy weight into place.

“Maybe it will help you keep your lunch in your stomach instead of out,” Bucky smirked.

Steve threw his friend a dirty look. However, he couldn’t maintain it and snorted instead.

They quickly finished checking and double-checking their cords and set-up. Two clips were tugged discreetly at the targeted floor which would guide the cords and their bodies up.

“Ready?” Steve breathed in a deep, stabilizing breath.

“Just like old times,” Bucky said.

Steve turned his head and met Bucky’s gaze. He repeated, “Just like old times. Three. Two. One.”

The two men sprung forward into the air and onto the side of the apartment complex. Landing deftly on their feet, they hopped up using the momentum granted by the bungee cord until they were just below Rumlow’s residence.

They latched themselves on the ledge and waited until the guards’ backs were turned away before they jumped up onto the balcony and knocked them out.

The moment their feet landed on the floor, the silent alarm activated and the clock counted down. Steve and Bucky moved discreetly towards the French doors that connected to the living room. Positioned on both sides, they observed as Rumlow walked towards the couches with two glasses of red wine in his hands and gave one to a red-haired woman who was sitting with her back against them.

Just as Rumlow was about to sit back, the woman waved him over and whispered something into his ear. Rumlow nodded as he walked towards where Steve and Bucky hid. The second Runlow stepped across the threshold, Steve placed the man under a headlock, covered his mouth, and pointed the gun at his temple.

“Mr. Rumlow,” Steve said softly. “We do not wish to harm you. We just want information about Alexander Pierce.”

“Why would I tell you anything?” Rumlow growled once Steve loosened his grip enough for him to speak.

“Because if you don’t, the world will end - ” Steve said, “And you will perish along with it.”

“Bold statement,” a voice, not Bucky’s, said. Steve looked towards where Bucky was standing and found him placed under a similar headlock and gunpoint by a gorgeous, red-haired woman. “Now, let him go.”

Steve looked at Bucky once before readjusting his grip on Rumlow, “Sorry, can’t do.”

“The information you seek does not lie with him,” the woman said as she released Bucky and pushed him towards Steve with a hard shove. Steve reciprocated as the woman directed Rumlow back into the apartment.

“Who are you?” Steve asked, putting his gun away.

“Is it my name that you are interested in?” the woman asked as she retrieved her wine glass on a windowsill and sat down in one of the patio chairs. “Or is it Pierce?”

“What do you know about Pierce then?”

“That he is an arms dealer, why?” she said after a sip.

“How about this?” Buck threw a bullet at her, intentionally falling short, as the woman mimicked an inverted throwing motion to catch it in her palm.

“What do you want to know?” she smirked, holding up the item.

“How he made this and where to find him?” Bucky said, narrowing his eyes. “Preferably everything, if you are so inclined.”

The woman chuckled, “You might not have enough time for everything. But… I can tell you that Alexander Pierce has… somehow managed to communicate with the future and obtained the ability to invert these weapons.”

“The future?” Steve scoffed.

“He could invert these bullets for me, what stops him from inverting humans and travel backwards in time?”

Steve could not dwell on that horrifying thought because distant sirens started to sound. The woman threw the bullet back at Bucky, who caught it perfectly, and stood up. Walking towards the railing calmly, she leaned over and watched as several police cars speeding towards the building.

“You have one more question left. Then, time’s up,” she reminded.

“How do we get to Pierce?” Bucky asked immediately as he swung a leg over the railing.

“An Evans and a Carter,” the woman said.

“What?” Steve asked, mystified, as he backed up towards where Bucky was.

“Time to go,” Bucky muttered while buckling Steve into position.

“I hope you have an exit strategy,” the woman said with an amused smile.

“I hope _you_ have an exit strategy,” Steve retorted back. With a tap from Bucky, he climbed over the railing and jumped down the building. Once his feet touched down, Steve unbuckled the entire suit and made sure Bucky was close by holding his hand. Guiding Bucky towards their destination, they soon disappeared into the throng of shoppers.

“That was the worst comeback line ever,” Bucky grumbled as they slid past families and vendors while the police trotted towards the building behind them.

“Well, I didn’t have enough time to come up with a good one,” Steve complained as he glanced at the people and merchandises around. His eyes were suddenly fixated a particular object - a tiny snow-globe. Captain America, decked out in the well-known red, blue, and white costume, was standing alongside his faithful companion and once-enemy, the Winter Soldier, against a snowy backdrop of a partially destroyed New York.

Steve rummaged his pocket and threw down a hundred Euros in front of the vendor. Then, he snatched the item and resumed their brisk walk.

“What are you doing?” Bucky gasped as Steve stuffed the gift into his free hand.

“You always liked the Winter Soldier,” Steve turned around, laughing when he saw Bucky’s expression torn between a frown and a smile. “Treat this as an early birthday present.”

They emerged from the other side of the market and into the waiting van.

“This is a mission, not a date!” Ives shouted once the door slid closed. But neither men paid him any attention.

“My birthday is not in another two weeks,” Bucky muttered as he stared into the globe with wide eyes. “Also, I am not counting this thoughtless present as the real deal.”

“Well… I will get you a better one then,” Steve said as he reached for the item. “Give this back -”

Bucky swung it out of Steve’s reach and declared, “I’m keeping this, you gave it to me. But you still owe me a real present.”

Steve smiled as he saw Bucky run his fingers over the glass carefully as if it was the most precious item in the world. However, the subtle glances from Sam, Ives, and the other men were not lost on him.

* * *

“Chris Evans,” Sam said. He tapped on the screen behind him and an image of a muscular man with blonde hair and blue eyes appeared. “Brooklyn-based street, graffiti, stencil, sketch artist infused with a healthy dose of sociopolitical activism. Exploded onto the art scene ten years ago and is now an established blue-chip main-stay.” At the lost expression on Steve's face, Sam added helpfully, “Think Banksy, but American.” 

He tapped a second time as a stunning lady with wavy, chestnut curls appeared.

“Margaret Carter, also known as Peggy Carter. Art appraiser and curator,” Sam continued, “Wife of Alexander Pierce for ten years. Traveled together on a trip to Vietnam two weeks ago.”

“So we have our Evans and Carter,” Steve said, thinking back at the hint the woman provided. “So how are they related exactly?”

“Just about to get to it,” Sam said. A third tap revealed an image of an abstract portrait depicting different hues of blue, red, purple, and white splattered across the canvas. “This is a piece made by Evans called _A Starting Point_.”

Ives put a bag on the table and pulled out an exact replica of what is showing on the screen.

“How much is this?” Steve asked as he held it into carefully in his hands. Analyzing the picture, Steve saw through the superficial swirls of brushstrokes and noted that the artist arranged the colours in a specifically way, as if he was trying to convey a message of unity amidst chaos. 

“Seven million,” Steve almost dropped the art piece in shock when he heard Sam's answer. “And she has it. The one you are holding is a fake, confiscated from a shipment that we think was being sent to Pierce. You will use it to approach her and try to secure a meeting with Pierce.”

“You want me to seduce her?” Steve asked as Sam nodded.

“One of you or Barnes,” Ives said. Steve turned to Bucky to discuss their decision, but he saw the man's eyes were oddly fixated on the woman's face. There was something tender and... loving in his expression, which sparked a flash of jealousy in Steve's heart. 

“I can go-” Bucky started to say when Steve interrupted.

Steve declared quickly, “I will go. I mean... I am told I have a seductive smile.”

“Right...” Bucky said slowly.

“Well, this is decided then,” Steve said cheerily. Turning to Sam and Ives, who was looking at him with unveiled amusement, he asked, “Where do I need to be?”

* * *

“Pleasure to meet you, Mr. Stan,” Peggy said as she extended a hand, which Steve took. She had a firm yet gentle grip and her demeanour was calm and confident. She was also more beautiful than her picture that was shown during the meeting. At the moment, Steve felt more relieved than you should be about being able to keep her away from his Bucky.

“Quit staring,” Bucky's voice buzzed into his ear piece and shook Steve out of his stupor. He noted that Peggy looked at him strangely, which was likely due to the long, awkward pause he caused.

“Likewise, Miss Carter,” Steve said with a warm smile.

“Follow me please,” Peggy said as she led him into an art studio. “How many I help you today?”

“There is something I would like to sell,” Steve said. He took up the Evans fake from his suitcase and handed it over. “It is an Evans.”

Peggy's eyes widened a slight fraction and her smile frozen. Blinking twice, she relaxed her facial expression and took the proffered art. “An Evans, how lovely. Don’t come across one of those often. Shall we take a look then.”

She placed the portrait on the table and pulled the arm of the magnifying apparatus over it. As she scanned the portrait, her entire body seemed to thrum with anxiety and rage.

“So is this real?” Steve prodded.

“Did he send you?” Peggy asked quietly, her voice quivering slightly.

Steve was confused. “Who are you talking about?”

Peggy looked up at Steve angrily before walking up to him and poking her finger at his chest. “Did my _dear_ husband send you?”

Her voice was low and dangerous, and her eyes flashed with a mix of anger and tears.

“No!” Steve protested.

“Don't lie,” she spat. “I know a real Evans when I see one. What do you want?”

“I-”

The door behind them opened with a bang as Bucky ran in with shouts trailing behind him.

“We can help you find the fake Evans,” Bucky said quickly, his eyes seemingly glued to Peggy's face.

“You're not allowed in here!” the security guards shouted as something shifted in her eyes. “I will call the police -”

“That's not necessary,” Peggy turned to the guards and said immediately. “Please leave us.”

“Are you certain, ma'am?”

“Yes,” Peggy said. Hesitantly, they looked between the two intruders before closing the door and leaving.

“Who are you and what do you want?” Peggy asked.

“We need a meeting with Pierce,” Bucky said calmly, “In exchange, we can help you find the fake Evans.”


End file.
